I have recently received news from Texas concerning the failing health of a close friend. She is too ill to travel, so I am preparing to head back to Texas.

Unfortunately, I don't know yet if I will be returning to the 4400 Center in Seattle after helping my friend. My old life has been creeping back into my thoughts, beckoning for my return, a great deal lately. There is much I left behind and unresolved after my abduction and subsequent rescue at Promise City. Far too many things left hanging and unfinished there.

It will be difficult, facing the "ghosts" of my former life.... it has only been a few short months, but it seems like an entirely different lifetime ago, so much has occurred.

Wow, it's been a really crazy time around here....

First a quick update on me...

After all that happened with my abduction and rescue, I decided to take some time to deal with everything that I had been thru, to learn to accept the death I had caused and the +'s I had negated.... two of them took Promicin again and got their abilities back, one chose to leave Promise City and return to her old life, after deciding that her family and friends were more important to her than her ability.

I stayed in Promise City for a short while until I overheard Collier talking with Shawn Farrell one day. Shawn was attempting to convince Jordan to hold off on his Promicin distribution for a few months until Dr. Burkhoff could complete his initial research to test for Promicin compatibility. Jordan, naturally refused. As a result, Shawn decided to go on record himself to explain about Kevin's research and to ask that people just wait a little while in order for the initial tests to be developed. Shortly after that, Collier's people kidnapped Burkhoff as well as all his research.

There were a few people who went in and rescued Kevin, but they did not recover his research, so Kevin had to begin again.... with the hope that thru my ability, he would soon be able to catch up.

Shawn's brother then couple weeks ago came in asking about this test, he had been thinking for quite some time about taking the shot, but promised Shawn that he wouldn't do it until he had fully considered the consequences, or until there was some way to predict whether or not he would survive. After a preliminary test, Dr. Burkhoff told Danny that there was no reason to believe he would die if he took the shot and so he took it. That brings us to the events of the past week....
 
It was Danny that caused the problems here in Seattle over the past week.After Dr. Burkhoff told him he would likely survive the shot and he took it he quickly developed an ability... however, his ability was so unexpected and dangerous....

His ability was to spread Promicin like an airborn virus... anyone with whom he came into contact, either became P+ or died a Promicin death.... the first victim of Danny's ability.... His and Shawn's own mother.

He had her taken by ambulance to the hospital where a great many other's began collapsing from Promicin exposure. Once Danny figured out that it was his fault, he came to the 4400 center for help and Shawn & Kevin placed him on the inhibitor, and it worked... he stopped spreading Promicin, but, unfortunately, it didn't stop him from producing the Promicin... it just kept building it up in his system and it was killing him. They asked me to remove the Promicin from his system, but again, as soon as I'd negate it, it would once again begin building up again.... there was no stopping him from producing it... in the end, Shawn told me, Danny decided that it was best if he died, and he asked Shawn to do it, to stop his suffering.

It nearly destroyed Shawn having to take Danny's life, he had tried so hard to convince Danny not to take it, but he knew that the choice was ultimately his own, not Shawn's. Now Shawn is taking time to mourn his mom and brother.... He is so very distraught.

I don't know what's going to happen around here, but I really hope Shawn doesn't give up... we still need him. Especially now that Collier's people from Promise City seem to be in charge of Seattle.... I am now wondering what's going to happen here as well. So many of our law enforcement died as a result of Promicin exposure and it was the people from Promise City who stepped in to "help". I just wonder if they will "give" Seattle back when they recover from this event.... if they ever do........

I also heard from Shawn, via Tom, that Isabelle is dead...... I'm not certain of the entire story, but it seems that The Marked installed a "kill switch" in her when she got her abilities back to ensure obedience.... well, she disobeyed them in order to rescue Tom and Collier.... as a result.... she's now dead....

I am very saddened to hear that she's gone, but I always believed in her, that she would do the right thing in the end.... and she did....... I am so very proud of her, I really am, and I wish she were still with us. She will be deeply missed.... I know she will.

I'm here.... I'm back...

I'm almost afraid to post now, but I know I have to do this. I-I don't really know how or where to begin. The past weeks have been a blur of fear and torture for me. I don't even know i-if I'll be able to tell much about what I have been through, but I do know that I need to try.

2.... or was it 3 weeks ago.... I discovered that just like diseases, my ability allows me to negate or remove Promicin from people's bodies. The story about it was on the news, and I posted about it here and on the 4400/P+ message board... A couple days after that, I received a visit from my "mystery friend".... the one who had told my husband to "Call me and tell me."... He told me that my greatest fear was at hand and that he hoped I had prepared myself. I called my husband to tell him about my visitor and begged him to come home. He told me he was on his way. The man appeared again a few minutes later and told me to get my children to safety. I quickly took them to a friend's house and decided to get as far away from them as I could, and I called my husband to tell him where the kids were, but not where I was going.

I drove into town and straight to the NTAC office, hoping to get them to send someone out to watch and protect my family and  to see if there was anywhere they could hide me. Just before I walked in to the office two men approached me, asked if I was Gale Conlee, and I answered "Yes" before I realized it and then knew that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. They pulled out a gun, held it in my side and told me to come with them. We went around the corner and into an alley way behind NTAC and they forced me into the trunk of a car and closed it on me.

When we arrived wherever they took me and the trunk was opened, one of the men reached in and sedated me. When I awoke, I found I had been restrained on a cold metal table in a dark grey room. I was wearing only a hospital gown and had an IV in my arm and electrical wires attached to my temples. I lay there freezing and completely immobilized for what seemed like hours. I called out for help, but none came. Then I apparently fell asleep again.

Next thing I remember, I woke up again and felt as though I was on fire throughout my body. There were people standing at my head, but just far enough behind me that I couldn't actually see them, or how many were there, but I could hear them moving about. I spoke up and asked what was happening to me but their only response was to tell me not to speak. I lay there listening to them move about for sometime until one of them come over and injected something into my IV and I was out again.

The third time I woke up, I was no longer on the table, I was in a cell, I had some sort of jumpsuit on and a collar around my neck. When I attempted to pull the collar off it sent an electrical shock through my entire body and left me incapacitated for several minutes. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I could barely breath. I just sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks for several minutes.

Before I was able to move again, a man came in and told me that so long as I was obedient, I would not experience that pain again, but he pulled out some kind of hand device, and said, "Just to reiterate..." then he pressed a button on the device, and sent yet another shock through my body, twice as strong and lasting twice as long as the first time and had me flopping around on the floor as though I were having some type of seizure. When it ended, he told me he just wanted me to understand that I had two choices... obedience, or punishment, and what I experienced just then was an example of a mild punishment. He asked me if I understood and I could only mouth the word "Yes."

He waited until I was able to move again, and helped me up and into a chair that was bolted to the floor, strapped me into it, and began to interrogate me. If he didn't like my answer he simply pressed his button and punished me. How long this went on, I have no idea, but by the time it was over, I was crying and begging him to either stop or just kill me. He then took me out of the chair and laid me on the bed in my cell on my stomach, then placed a cage over the bed that wouldn't allow me to turn to my side, locked it in place, turned the lights out and told me to get some sleep because the next day would be another difficult day for me. I lay there crying until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I was awakened with a very mild shock. Just enough to get my attention. The same man was standing above me. He unlocked my cage and told me to get up. Every muscle in my body was screaming and it was difficult at best, but I was fearful of what might happen if I didn't move quickly enough. He told me to follow him so I did. He led me into a classroom of sorts, sat me down, then brought in a line of about ten people. He told me to identify which of them were P+ and which were P- and whether or not any of the P-'s could safely take Promicin. After I did so, he brought in another line of them. We continued on like that for quite some time, then he began bringing a few of the P+'s back in and told me to negate their Promicin.

I started to explain that I had only done that one time when I received a strong shock that knocked me out of the chair and onto the floor. When the shock stopped, he again ordered me to negate their Promicin. When I again hesitated, attempting to regain a bit of strength to move, he shocked me again. He walked over to me while I was convulsing from the pain, held my head up and told me to negate their Promicin or he would not turn the collar off. I tried to do it, but it seemed to take so long with the first person, that I lost consciousness from the pain.

I came to again and was still lying on the floor. The man lifted me back into my chair and again told me to focus on the men and remove their Promicin. I did so immediately. We did this all day, identifying those who were P+, those who could become P+, negating the Promicin from a few other's. That evening, he took me back to my cell, strapped me into my chair again, and told me I had performed well and would therefore be rewarded with a meal, which he proceeded to feed to me.

Once I had finished eating, he left my cell, with me still strapped in the chair. Soon the lights were out and I sat there in the dark until I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning when the lights came back on. The same man returned again, fed me breakfast, unstrapped me and told me to follow him. He led me into an office, told me to sit down and that he would return shortly. I realized that there was a computer in the office, so I decided to attempt to send a message to my P+ friends. I managed to get part of the message posted, and shut the page down when the man walked in, saw me sitting at the computer and hit the button to punish me. He left me there convulsing and walked out of the room for what seemed an eternity before I again passed out from the pain.

When I came to, he lifted me up off the floor and sat me again in the chair. He told me that he was very disappointed in me that after two days I still hadn't learned obedience and that he would now be forced to change the setting on my collar such that it would now read the electrical signals my brain was sending out and it would automatically punish me if I were to be disobedient again, but that he could still control it with his hand device as well.

He then began to explain to me why they had taken me. He told me that the day before I was being tested, that they were confirming that my ability worked just as I claimed it did, and that I had "passed" the test with flying colors. Out of over 300 men and women paraded in front of me, I not only identified every Promicin enhanced soldier, but I also helped them to add at least 100 more to their program, plus, I also helped them to negate the Promicin from at least 50 P+'s that they considered a threat to them and their program.

He told me that since I had performed so well, they were going to use me along with a small group of enhanced soldiers to penetrate the border's of Promise City. My role would be to use my ability to negate the Promicin from any one with whom we came into contact with, up to and including Jordan Collier. When I objected, told them I wouldn't do it, my collar hit me with another shock, much like the first one I experienced. After the past two days of being "punished", what I felt from the collar was more than bearable. It simply served to remind me that it could now work automatically.

He then brought me back to the "classroom" and we spent the next few hours again identifying a great many P-'s that could safely take Promicin. I attempted to lie about the first one that was safe and the collar recognized the lie and sent me a warning shock. When the man realized what had happened, he turned up the collar and warned me that I had better not lie again or I would regret it. So I didn't attempt ti lie anymore. I identified at least another 50 men and women who were safe to take Promicin. In two days time, I increased the NSA/military's enhanced soldier program by over 150 men and women. I discovered that the NSA and the military were working together to build the program.

Later that afternoon, I was again taken into an office where he began asking me questions about other P+'s I knew, and family and friends that could safely be given Promicin. As I went down the "list" I avoided telling them about my children, but when they asked me directly whether or not they could safely take it, I told them "No" and was immediately sent to the floor from the shock the collar gave me. The man just smiled and told me that I had been warned not to lie to him. He was then called out of the office and I was again left alone with a computer within my reach. I attempted another message to my friends. As soon as I reached for the computer I felt the collar take effect, but I fought thru it because I knew I had to warn people what they were planning to do..... and I had to find a way to make certain my family was safe. The harder I fought it, the worse the pain became. As soon as I had finished sending my message, I collapsed. The next thing I knew, I was again lying on my stomach, on the bed in my cell, the cage locked down over me.

The next day was a blur of torture, beginning right at midnight, while lying on that bed, in that cage, unable to move. The man just sat in the chair all day long hitting the collar control button. Sometimes leaving it on for several minutes, other times just mildly shocking me. Sometimes there would be a barrage of long and/or short shocks, one right after another, other times he would allow me to rest and almost fall asleep thinking it was finally over and then he would send another barrage of shocks thru me. He kept it up all day long and deep into the night, it finally stopped at 3 am the following morning. 27 hours..... He would tell me what time it was every five to ten minutes, just to make certain I was aware of how long he had kept me awake torturing me. It started again at 6 a.m. and continued just the same as the day before for another 12 hours. Finally, it ended, and he took me to eat and then to meet my "team". He sat us all down and told us what our roles would be and to be ready to go in the following Wednesday.

He introduced me to 8 soldiers and then showed me 1 other collared person, a woman. I recognized her, but was not allowed to speak with her. It was Sonic, a P+ member of my message board. Someone whom I knew to be a tremendous threat. I had personally witnessed the destructive potential of her and her brother's abilities. (Her brother "Navalman" is another member of my message board.) I was horrified knowing that with her involved, it could only come to a tragic ending.

I knew I had to attempt another warning. I couldn't believe it when they left me alone in a chair seated outside an office. The man had again been called away for a few moments and fighting the effect of the collar, I ducked into the office, sent another message, and crawled back out to the hallway and into the chair. It was all I could do to catch me breath and behave normally when the man returned. I didn't know if he knew what I had done or not, but I didn't suffer any further punishment at the time.

Again, the next few days blurred together as I spent them identifying potential new soldiers for the "ES" Program. I stopped fighting the collar and gave them my full cooperation. Within a couple days I had convinced the man that I had finally stopped fighting him and the collar. Then, monday evening I overheard him talking to one of his colleagues about the last message I had sent, and they decided to just go in a day sooner. They continued talking for a few more moments then I was taken back to my cell. I wasn't punished that night and as I lay there in my bed/cage, I wondered why...

I was awakened very early the next morning to shower and eat. I wondered if and when I would suffer the consequences of having sent that last warning, but it didn't come... I knew that this was the day we were to be taken to Promise City and I had to risk one more chance to warn everyone. I asked to be allowed to leave the eating area to go to the bathroom. To my surprise, they allowed me to go alone. As I left the area, I ducked into an office, sent a private message to a good friend, fighting the pain from the collar. I hadn't experienced it in several days and had actually forgotten just how severe it was, but I knew that I HAD to fight it.

I sent the message, heard someone coming out from the eating area, and ran as quickly as I could to the bathroom. I waited a moment then stepped out just as the man was about to open the door. He took one look at me, gave me a knowing grin, grabbed my arm and dragged me back to my cell. Once he had me locked back down on my bed, he told me he knew what I had done, that they had intended for me to try again to tell my friends what they were planning. He told me that the plan hadn't changed at all, and that they had intended for me to send the message in the hopes that the people in Promise City would exhaust themselves waiting all day and all night for us to arrive.

He then began my "shock treatment" just as he had done several days earlier only this time there were no short bursts or long resting periods. It was a constant barrage of long excrutiating electrical shocks being sent through my body, stopping only long enough for me to catch a breath or two, then hitting me with it again. He kept it up the rest of the day and all night long again. I had been begging and pleading all night long for him to stop, but he wouldn't. By the next morning, I knew that there was no way I had the strength or the will to fight against the collar any longer and I would do whatever I had to do to avoid that kind of punishment again. I had been broken and I knew it.

All the way there, I was kept in a small, black, locked box just big enough for me to fit in curled up in the fetal position. My collar was turned on and left on, at a moderate setting, just enough to keep me awake and convulsing in pain, but not such a severe pain that I would lose consciousness from it. I was finally taken out of the box once we arrived in Seattle, and led to a boat that took us into the Duwamish River delta and up to the border of PC. We were let off the boat and told to cross the river and we would be at the outer edge of PC. My collar was then turned off, but I was warned that they had fixed the setting such that if I tried even one time to stray from the plan, if I chose one time to disobey my orders that I would experience pain more severe than I had experienced to date. I could only hope that my friends had managed to warn Collier and that they would be prepared, because I knew.... I knew I would do exactly as I had been ordered to do. I was no longer willing to experience the pain.... the.... the torture being wrought from that collar.

We crossed the river and entered Promise City. The first person I saw with an Aura, I immediately used my ability to negate it. I did it again three more times, crying with each person I had, in effect left crippled and vulnerable to the soldier's abilities..... then, it happened... Suddenly, I was blindfolded, and before I even realized the relief I felt at no longer being able to see anyone, I felt the collar come off from around my neck, the blindfold removed and my neck being wrenched. I fell unconscious and began to dream.

Gabby came to me in my dream and assured me that I was safe, that my family was there with me, and we were all safe and welcome to stay in Promise City for as long as we liked. She told me that I had faced my greatest fear, and had survived it, that all our past dream sessions were not in vain. When I woke up, I saw my husband sitting beside me, felt his arms reach around me and hold me and I fell asleep once again and slept the most blessed and peaceful sleep I had experienced in over a week. My nightmare was finally over.

I have spent the past 6 days resting and recovering (physically anyway) from my ordeal.

A couple days ago, Collier asked me to stay here in PC with my family, to help him and all the other "Collierites" with this movement. He and his friend and "adviser" Kyle Baldwin have woven this fantastic story about some book of prophecy, the future, and (according to Kyle's ability) my involvement in helping Collier bring "heaven to earth" about seeing the face of God....

They have shown me this book. It was quite old, written back in the 1800's. It talks about Collier and the 4400 and Promicin.... It has a list of the names of 200 people who are alive in the world today. It all sounds so insane, and yet.....

I have done nothing but speak ill of Collier for months now, and yet, he is asking me to join him. He has entrusted to me this story.... I don't know what to think, w-what to believe.....

I.... I don't want to stay here. Everyone knows I have never agreed with what Collier has done and I have never trusted him. However, I also know that if my family & I leave PC, we will be vulnerable yet again. I am so torn.

On the one hand, we had a wonderful life in Texas with family & friends. On the other hand, we cannot ignore the past weeks and how our lives were turned inside out.... the sadness and fear my husband and children went through in my absence, and the physical and psychological pain and torture I experienced at the hands of the NSA. The thought of any of us going thru that again........ I can't... I-I can't bare it.

We just don't know what to do now. We need help, support, and advice. What should I do? Should I stay here and work with Jordan, a man I have despised for 3 years... or take a chance out in the world, where I know my family and I will be forced to run and hide.....